Does Anybody Seriously Care How Much Oprah Weighs?

I mean, seriously? Who is worse? Oprah, for thinking that anybody cares that she has gained weight? Or society, for actually caring?

It's a toss-up.

Seriously, Why Can't I Just Move On Already?

It's been a year and a half since I left my job. I think that I miss it as much today as I did the day I left.

I'm having fun with the girls, please understand. I keep racking my brain trying to think of a way to have it all. Right now. I know women do it all the time. Don't they?

Here's the problem. I still don't feel like I want to put them in daycare. Disclaimer: I realize there is nothing at all wrong with daycare, it's just not for me personally.

The impossible dream for me, I suppose, is to have a full-time job and still be able to be the only one with my girls.

I want my job back so bad that it hurts. It's a bit like breaking up with a boyfriend. A boyfriend with whom you know that things can never work out long-term. But he's so hot and there is just something about him that sometimes you just don't care. You want him back. Now.

Sometimes I'm driving along in my car and I hear a song. A stupid song, perhaps, but a song that reminds me of driving along in my squad car. Window down, hair flowing through my long, luxurious pre-baby locks. Listening to the radio on a hot summer night and hoping that folks everywhere would start beating the shit out of each other so that I could go do my job.

I'm seriously kidding about that last part. And about the luxurious locks thing. But, seriously. Did anyone else's hair turn to straw post-babies like mine did?