As you can tell from my rambling, I am glad that preschool is back in session and we are back to some semblance of routine. I was starting to go a little batty(-er than I normally am).
I had to pick a new URL, too, because the one I had was taken on Blogger. I picked onechancemama because, as much as I bitch about staying at home, this is the only chance I will get to spend this much time with these little bee-atches. I am going to make the most of it, in spite of myself. If it kills me. Which I am convinced that, slowly, it is.
In my weaker moments in which I wonder why I got married and had kids, it came to me (while shopping at Macy's) that there are various benefits to having children that may not be readily apparent. And that brings me to...
The first list of 2008. Here it goes!
TOP FIVE SIDE-BENEFITS OF HAVING KIDS
5. While browsing in Macy's, you may find that you need to, ahem, pass a little gas. No problem. Pass away, because others will assume that it was your child. (Disclaimer: this works best when your children are toddlers, but not older. Only do it if others could safely assume that your child may still be wearing a diaper, and a poopy one at that.) If you are getting the vibe that others are not automatically assuming that your toddler did it, loudly announce, "(Insert child's name here)! You tooted!"
4. When one of those pesky solicitors comes to your door, it is that much easier to shoo them away. "I'm sorry, I have to get back to my kids." Usually mine are screaming and scratching each other's eyes out, so salespeople usually flee .
3. Ditto for telemarketers. My kids wait until I am on the phone to showcase their loudest, and worst, behavior. And in this particular situation, I encourage them to be as obnoxious as possible.
2. Actually, now that I think about it, the above works for any time you are on the phone and don't want to be.
1. "Not right now, honey, what if the kids wake up?" 'Nuff said.
By the way, this was supposed to be a top-ten list but these kids would not give me any peace. Don't they know I'm trying to blog?
1 comment:
I'm so glad you stopped by to let me know your new site!
I totally do the thing with people at the door. I add to the screaming children, 2 big hairy dogs barking at my feet. And I pretend it's ALL I CAN DO to keep the border collie from going all Cujo and killing whomever has disturbed our day.
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